You don’t have to have a penis to include insertive (male) condoms in your fun and games! For your reading pleasure, here are several sexy and fun alternative uses for condoms!
Quick Sex Toy Clean-up!
First of all, condoms aren’t just useful with fleshy bits! Slipping a condom on a sex toy like a dildo or vibe for solo sex can make aftercare of your sex toys a lot easier and faster. Because seriously, who wants to get up in the middle of a glorious post-orgasmic afterglow to trot down the hall to the sink? Roll the condom on before you get going, then throw in the trash for quick-and-easy clean-up. It’s like using aluminum foil in the kitchen to avoid dishes, but sexier!
For partnered use of sex toys, condoms are also important barriers for preventing swapping of fluids to limit STI transmission risks. Always remember to use a new condom for every partner and every hole!
Another important consideration with sex toys is potentially toxic ingredients including phthalates that are often used in a variety of plastics and soft jelly toys. Ever notice an overwhelming plastic-y smell when you first unwrap a new toy? If it smells toxic, it could very well be. Although phthalate-free toys are available, they tend to be more expensive, and throwing out all your old ones to buy brand-new can be a daunting for a college student on a limited budget. Instead, slip a condom on it to prevent exposing yourself and your most sensitive parts!
Make Your Own Sex Dam!
Major chain drug stores usually don’t care oral barriers. (Reminder: Sex Out Loud stocks free sex dams, as well as 20+ different types of condoms in our office!) But, in a few minutes, any type of insertive condom can become a DIY-sex dam! Simply unroll, snip off the tip, then carefully cut long-ways. Stretch over your partner’s vulva, butthole, or balls for safe oral fun.
For a more advanced arts & crafts project, you could use some condoms to make party lights?
Stand in for Latex Gloves!
In a pinch, a condom can be stretched over the hand as a stand-in for latex or nitrile gloves if you don’t have any, to protect your partner from inadvertent injury during finger fucking or fisting, particularly from fingernails. Remember that although male condoms are marketed in different “sizes,” all condoms are capable of stretching VERY far!
As a storage device for ALL sorts of things that don’t have anything to do with drug trafficking…
For anything from small, sensitive electronic equipment like stage microphones, to matches and smokes, to a travel-case for a toothbrush, non-lube condoms can work great to protect from moisture, sand and dirt. Text msgers take note: The touch-screen on a smartphone still works inside a condom, but now waterproof.
Before you use a condom, always (1) check the expiration date (2) squeeze the package gently to make sure the air bubble is intact (3) make sure your hands are clean! Also, make sure you have your partner’s consent.
Remember that using barriers is a way to minimize, not totally eliminate the risk of STD transmission and it’s a good practice to get tested regularly. As a UW student, you can get tested for free at UHS!
Happy sexcapades!