Sex Out Loud recently received a question at a Pleasure 2 program that we didn’t know the “for sure” answer to. We did a bit of research and now we do!
Q: Is it true that women masturbate less than men do? What percentage of women masturbate vs. percentage of men?
A: Three landmark studies have explored this topic:
The authors of The Social Organization of Sexuality interviewed and surveyed nearly 3,000 men and women between the ages of 18 and 59. About 42% of women and 63% of men reported sexin’ themselves at least once in the past year.
The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior found similar results: 10% of women vs. 25% of men reported masturbating “frequently”; 38% of women and 55% of men said they did it “regularly.”
Finally, the famous Kinsey studies found that 92% of men and 63% of women had masturbated at least once in their life.
Some research suggests that straight women increase their frequency in masturbation during times when they have a sexual partner while straight men actually decrease their frequency when they have regular access to sex.
Q: What is anal bleaching?
A: Anal bleaching is the process of using chemicals to lighten the skin around the anus for cosmetic purposes. Since in many people this skin is darker than the surrounding area, some people want it to be more uniform. Anal bleaching can be done in an office by a technician, or with certain over-the-counter creams in the privacy of one’s own home.
Q: What would you recommend for someone who struggles to be pleasured manually, and is interested in a vibrator, but is turned off by the look and idea of sex toys?
A: Sex toys are suprisingly versatile, and come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and designs. For example, there are a few different types of vibrators that don’t come in conventional shapes. Part of the Sex Out Loud collection includes a vibrator shapped like a rubber ducky and one that’s a ball. In addition to that, you can buy vibrartors shapped like lipstick, rocket-ships and even in the shape of a tobacco pipes. Many of these are available at A Woman’s Touch in Madison.
There are also many abstract options including plastic vibrators that are nothing but a long slender handle with an angled tip for clitoral or perineal stimulation. Another option is a bullet vibe: they’re small discreet bullet shape vibrators can be attached to a cord with a handheld remote, inserted into a dildo, or simply held against whatever you want to stimulate.
If you’re unsure as to what type of vibrator you would like, we at Sex Out Loud recommend starting simple and cheap. You don’t want to buy an expensive toy with lots of gadgets or gizmos and immediately find you don’t enjoy the sensation. It’s definitely easiest to introduce yourself to new things and sensations slowly and go from there.
For more ideas you can certainly check out the website for A Woman’s Touch (http://www.a-womans-touch.com/index.php) or go to the store at 600 Williamson Street. You may also want to check out the website for the Pleasure Chest to see what is available there (http://thepleasurechest.com). There is a store located in Chicago.
Q: How many partners has the average college student had?
A: One study found that among university students the average, self-reported number sexual partners among males was 3.79 and 2.54 among females; the mean age of respondents was 19 (Brown & Sinclair 1999). According to the National College Health Assessment of 2006, 23% of UW-Madison students reported having no sexual partners in the last school year, while 53% reported having 1 sexual partner within the last school year. About 25% reported having 2 or more partners in the last school year. The mean number of partners for those who had 1 or more sexual partners is 1.9.
Q: Does Sex Out Loud carry Trojans as free condoms?
A: In a “limited time offer” sort of way, yes! This Spring ’12 semester, thanks to a couple SOL staff members and the Great American Condom Campaign, SOL is able to offer a variety of Trojan condoms in our office. It should be noted, however, that we have a much greater variety in our Lifestyles, Crown, and BeyondSeven brands; all of which are equally effective!
Q: How do you ask someone if they’re into kinky things?
A: Broaching the subject of kink for the first time with a partner can be a harrowing experience. Sharing your own personal sexual desires and fantasies often leaves people feeling vulnerable, and this makes the subject a bit difficult to talk about. Here are a few tips for bringing the topic up:
- Talk about it before you get to the bedroom: It’s important to bring up subjects like kink or fetishes in a non-sexual situation. This way, you can have a calm, rational discussion of each partner’s desires and feelings about the matter at hand outside the heat of the moment, which can pressure to perform regardless of their feelings.
- Talk it up: Despite the stigmas often attached to kink, talk about it like it’s a good thing (because it definitely is!). For example, avoid prefacing your kinky fantasies with “don’t freak out, but…”; instead, try an approach like “just think of all these extra hot things we can do together”. It’s important to be excited and enthusiastic about this, it will help your partner feel more comfortable.
- Be honest and respectful: Be forthcoming about what you’re looking for, so that you and your partner can come to a mutually satisfying agreement. It’s important to stand up for what you want (because no one else will), but also to be respectful of your partner’s boundaries and desires. Don’t treat it like a hostile negotiation, but an opportunity to find a solution that all parties can be happy with.
If your partner is nervous about kink, it might also be a good idea to start slow and build up to different fantasies. For example, rather than rushing right into heavy bondage, you might consider a trial run using easy-to-remove restraints; whatever helps your partner feel more at ease.
Q: What is the largest dildo available?
A: Dildos come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and some of them can be quite large. In fact, some are larger than the largest penis on record (13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches around). The company Tantus produces a dildo that is only 7 inches long, but is 9.5 inches around. Doc Johnson produces a dildo called the Giant Jumbo Jack XL that is 15 inches long in total, with a minimum circumferences of 8.5 inches. But that’s not all! Doc Johnson also produces a fisting dildo called The Hand that is over 16 inches long. And double headed dildos are even longer. Another Doc Johnson product is a 30 inch long double dildo that is 9 inches around.
Q: How big do anal beads get?
A: Anal beads are available in many different sizes. Sizes can range from small with a circumference of less than 1.5″. Large anal beads available on the market usually have a diameter of 1.75″ or more and a circumference of 5.5″ or more. This is about the size of a golf ball. Anal beads this size are produced by Falcon Balls and cost about $45.
Q: What is the most expensive sex toy on the market?
A: The most expensive high-end sex toy we could find is a solid platinum vibrator encrusted with 117 diamonds weighing over 18 carats total. It even includes a detachable diamond ring! Manufactured by Maison Victor, this luxury sex toy will set you back a cool $60,000.